The ceo of big fish presentations, kenny speaks about how no. The power of a positive no offers concrete advice and practical examples for saying no in virtually any situation. Jun 21, 2015 what i learned from our relationship with the cedar trees is the power of saying no, and i use this wisdom in my business every day. The ceo of big fish presentations, kenny speaks about how no has affected him. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no an art that many people have problems with. If you want to save this summary for later, download the free pdf and read it. Im 100% sure that he who masters the power of no will master life. The power of no can free us from the society, the institutions, the friends, loves, colleagues, bosses, and belief systems that tried to build a cage around us.
Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say noto. Most of us want to be well liked and to please other people. It will not always be others who you will need to politely decline. The power of saying no here are six ways your life will improve by saying no. Well i am here, to let you know, that it is okay to say no. If you find yourself overcommitted and unsure what to do about it, this book might be fore you. Practicing for the world series lets look at some daily ways you can practice saying, no, so that it comes more naturally to you. Jun 04, 2017 for many people, it can be difficult to know how to set boundaries or say no to others. William ury, the author, did a wonderful job and i loved this book.
Its easier to keep the commitment to say, no, if its the first word out of your mouth. When we say yes to everything and do not set boundaries with people, we. Saying no to that margarita when you have to drive later. By bad, the authors dont mean moral or aesthetic bad, but what. Mar 18, 2018 recently, an article in the financial times declared that no was the new yes, and cited books with titles such as the power of no, and how to say no without feeling guilty. Pon program on negotiation at harvard law school power of a positive no the. Almost any brief comment on the power of a positive no would be trite. The next time youre tempted to automatically say yes, remember there is great power in saying no and sometimes its the best answer for everyone. Despite my black belt in economicsfu, its an endless challenge.
It consists of using phrases like i dont know, maybe, and well see, when really your answer is, unequivocally, no. A twoletter word that can make or break who you are. May 02, 20 noted entrepreneur and presentation expert kenny nguyen passionately speaks about the power inherent in saying no. Most people feel constrained to consent to every request, and would preferably juggle a million occupations than decline to help, regardless of whether they are left with no time for them selves. If your like me, you are afraid you are going to hurt the relationship. But learning how to set boundaries and how to say no is the key to. Youre friends make you feel like a homebody, always guilt tripping you for never going out with them, but going out and drinking really just isnt your thing anymore. The power of a positive no teaches readers how to say no and, by reflection, how to be more assertive in life.
No is perhaps the most important and certainly the most powerful word in the language. Jul 14, 2014 the power of no can free us from the society, the institutions, the friends, loves, colleagues, bosses, and belief systems that tried to build a cage around us. This can be especially challenging for those who selfidentify as peoplepleasers. Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person youre saying no to, and thats not usually a fun task. For me saying no is not about the fastest way to make money. How to say no and still get to yes from the books description. Reebok sued kemp for saying it, but he said it just the same. Mar 24, 2017 its only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important. A guide to spiritual enlightenment is a book by eckhart tolle. Whether you deal with anxiety or not, giving yourself permission to say no provides the power to delegate where and when you create space for yourself. Start saying yes to yourself and no to being used, abuse, and exploited. The book teaches or reminds us that we are our own person. Some people think saying no is negative behavior, without recognizing the reality that failing to saying no when you should can do immense harm.
The power of no is an encompassing instruction manual for you to harness the power of this little word to get healthy, rid yourself of bad relationships, embrace abundance and ultimately say yes to yourself. Well feature a different book each week and share exclusive deals you. Save the deal save the relationship and still say no no is perhaps the most important and powerful word in language. How to say no and still get to yes, bantam books, new york, ny. The power of learning to say no august 27, 2014 by coach corey wayne leave a comment how standing up for yourself, what you want, your values, your goals and dreams by learning to use and become comfortable with saying the word no, can radically alter how women and people in general treat you and cause them to start to respect you. Saying no consistently is hard, and we have occasionally fallen back and taken on. It is graceonly gracethat has the power to teach us to say no to ungodliness and to renounce the sinful desires of this world, and to live instead a life that is pleasing to god. The power of saying no when we say yes to everything and do not set boundaries with people, we often feel stressed, overwhelmed, and burned out. How to firmly yet gracefully say no in any negotiation, yet still have the door open to future winwin collaboration. Identifying priorities gives you a rationale for saying no to superfluous requests with confidence and conviction. Suffice it to say that if id had and used this book for the last 25 years, i would have.
Saying no positively means first of all saying yes to yourself and your own deepest needs and values. The no we are able to say to others also evolves through life, beginning with the primitive nos of our childhood. How to say no and still get to yes kindle edition by ury, william. Learn the power saying no more often and achieve greater success in the process character development, say.
Simple, straightforward and easy to read, the power of a positive no is a yes on our reading list. Once you overcome your fear of saying no, youll realize how easy it is. Lebron had always envisioned himself wearing nike and wanted to be a part of. Saying no more often can help you regain control of your life. When i sense that a new spurt of growth will ultimately take. Whether you need to say no to your customer or your coworker, your employee or your ceo, your child or your spouse, you will find in this book the secret to saying no clearly. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading the power of a positive no. How to say no and still get to yes from the book s description. In the power of no, james and claudia teach us, readers, how to connect with our true selves by saying no to the things that may cause harm. Anne is a practicing psychotherpist for more than 30 years already. Just finished the how to say no podcast and i had a couple of thoughts. You have the right to say no discover the power of saying no. Their demands can rob you of the space to focus and the time needed to accomplish your own objectives. And so we kept saying yes, and for a few more years that approach kept us going.
How often have you wished you could summon the power to turn them down. The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. Feb 12, 2014 a persons time is possibly a more valuable asset than a persons capital, so using time wisely is critically important. The response you got from wendy danny seem to be following a trend like you mentioned. Sometimes, against all of your hearts desires, you will need to show up, stand up to yourself, for yourself, and say helltothe no. This lively, practical guide helps you take back that power and shows that a wellplaced no can not only save you time and trouble, it can save your life. Learn the power saying no more often and achieve greater success in the process this book contains proven steps and strategies. Save the deal save the relationship and still say no from the coauthor of getting to yes, a simple yet powerful threestep method for saying no firmly.
The following excerpt from the new book lebron, inc. Jan 01, 2007 the power of a positive no saying no is not easy. Sep 26, 20 when i want to turn off laptop and i click on the power symbol it says there are currently no power options available this thread is locked. Its still possible to be of service and to show up for others without sacrificing your own well being. The truth lies not in the obvious a need to please but rather in the fact that some of us have the tendency to put others objectives above our own. In 2002, the behavioural psychologist daniel kahneman won a nobel prize for his work on saying no to your impulses. Noted entrepreneur and presentation expert kenny nguyen passionately speaks about the power inherent in saying no. Life is multifaceted, but we all have two or three things that are especially important, and that. And no one is to dictate us what we should or should not, could or could not do. For example, to your friend who needs you to keep her child while she goes to the doctor, you might say, no, susie, i cant keep billie for you. I found this book by william ury to be as groundbreaking and revolutionary as urys blockbuster hit getting to yes. For many people, it can be difficult to know how to set boundaries or say no to others. Whereas through the course of the book it is a lot about finding the way that saying no works for oneself, individually different, in the end they give really silly, very concrete cookbook like recommendation and worst of all link saying no to earning loads of money. How many times have you heard yourself saying yes to the wrong thingsoverwhelming requests, bad relationships, timeconsuming obligations.
Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say no to people at home, at work, and in our communities. How to conquer the business world with kindness from the hardcover edition. You can follow the question or vote as helpful, but you cannot reply to this thread. It addresses a challenge that many leaders face in negotiation. Have you ever noticed that truly successful people have little trouble saying. Saying no is defined as disagreeing or not to accept something. Recently, an article in the financial times declared that no was the new yes, and cited books with titles such as the power of no, and how to say no without feeling guilty. Jun 16, 2014 in the power of no, james and claudia teach us, readers, how to connect with our true selves by saying no to the things that may cause harm. Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say no to people. Grounded in both practical and spiritual wisdom, james and claudia take the reader on an unexpected journey that explores a variety of ways we prevent ourselves from being fully present in the here and now.
The financial times and its journalism are subject to a selfregulation regime. There are tons of articles, books, and talks on the power of yes. Coping strategies for the negativity bias that pervades our daily lives. Ury makes the critical point that is better to say. If you say yes all the time and have a lot of trouble jumping straight into saying no then start out by saying ill think about it. Recognize when someone is manipulating you into yes. This gives you some breathing room to step back from the situation and give it a good once, twice, or thriceover in your head. Grounded in both practical and spiritual wisdom, james and claudia take the reader on an unexpected journey that explores a variety of ways we prevent ourselves from being fully present in.
One of the most useful tools a person has is the power to say no to things that are taking up time but are not adding much value to ones life. There are currently no power options available microsoft. In todays world of high stress and limitless choices, the pressure to give in and say yes grows greater ev. At an emotional level, the word no translates as i dont value what youre saying, and i dont trust you. To determine your criteria and begin harnessing the power of no, follow these three steps. Drawing on their own stories as well as feedback from their readers and students, james altucher and claudia azula altucher clearly show that you have the right to say no. Based on william urys celebrated harvard university course for managers and professionals, the power of a positive no offers concrete advice and practical examples for saying no in virtually any situation. The power of saying no there is power in the simple act of saying no, but for many of us its the hardest word to say. Steve jobs many people are programmed to say yes and have a problem saying no. So, why do so many people have an issue telling someone else no.
Nov 16, 2015 the behavior of saying yes to things we know we either dont want to or are unable to do is called hedging. When one executive i know in a family business had to say no to his father and bosss demand that he take care of the business over the christmas holidays for the nth year in a row, he drew on a deeper underlying yes to his family. And the no isnt just this once, youve pretty much become known for saying no at this point in your life. The power of saying no 6 ways to say no gracefully. Especially when youre starting out, its easy to want to get involved in everything and show your willingness to learn. Whenever possible, say no quickly to respect the other persons time. The power of no takes a fresh approach to becoming masterful at using no to say yes to life. Of course, being on the receiving end of a no can be disheartening, but saying yes to everything can have brutal consequences. The power of no can be beneficial for all parties involved sometimes.
A positive no has the power to profoundly transform our lives by enabling us to say yes to what countsour own needs, values, and priorities. Nov 05, 20 the power of no wielded wisely, no is an instrument of integrity and a shield against exploitation. Of course, there are many times when saying yes is a great thing. In the movie, american hustle, theres a scene where christian bales character says, if you tell them no, they will keep coming back for more. He is the coauthor with roger fisher of the bestselling. If the issue is with your computer or a laptop you should try using reimage plus which can scan the repositories and replace corrupt and missing files. Mar 20, 2019 when lebron learned the power of saying no. But the simple act of saying no has power and can often be an act of great courage, and most likely many of us should probably do more often. We add to our everexpanding todo lists, cram our cluttered calendars, and fill the space between our ears with overzealous and neverending thoughts of what we should be doing or what hasnt yet been done.
Therefore, learning how to s ay no can earn you some respect from yourself and people around you. The importance of saying no to your impulses is more than. Whether its saying no to hitting the snooze button. The secret to saying no without destroying relationships lies in the art of the positive no, a proven technique that anyone can learn. Fear, anger or resignation set in, all of which kill creativity. Will i chair a panel discussion on a topic of interest. Dozens of researchers and writers have picked up on the work done by kahneman and his late colleague amos tversky. It builds upon jamess previous book choose yourself and clearly shows how saying no frees us up to when we should say yes. Ury cofounded harvards program on negotiation and is currently a senior fellow of the harvard negotiation project. Of course, if a hard no is still too difficult to say, there are other ways to state it. It started with saying no to bad clients, continued with saying no to family members, trips, events, and even my own ideas, so i could focus. Download it once and read it on your kindle device, pc, phones or tablets. This book contains proven steps and strategies for how to say the more difficult response to requests. But ive been reading books on the no side of the equation for a few years now.
For city journal contributing editor tierney and social scientist baumeister psychologyuniv. Rediscovering the greatest human strength 2011, the power of bad can be filed under the negativity effect, the universal tendency for negative events and emotions to affect us more. The power of no one of the most important lessons i learned in 2015. One of the most useful tools a person has is the power to say no to. Oprah winfrey to discuss when to say no, how to say no, and what happens in the wake of that. Our inability to say no stems from the fact that we want to reassure and make others feel comfortable is a notion you need to shake, immediately. The behavior of saying yes to things we know we either dont want to or are unable to do is called hedging. I choose not to, not at this time and that will not work for me are all different ways to say no that dont feel quite as harsh. This book really does reveal how to say no in a positive way. Linda kaplan thaler and robin koval, authors of the power of nice. This week, the sugars are joined by oprah winfrey to discuss when to say no, how to say no, and what happens in the wake of that. Whether youve been forced, like i was, to eliminate a busy lifestyle or you just feel like you need to create more space for what matters, you can benefit from learning to say no.
One is called the casablanca, and is extolled in this book as a fine example of how to stick it to the power of bad. The book is intended to be a guide for daytoday living and stresses the importance of living in the present moment and transcending thoughts of the past or future. We didnt learn to say no easily, and we arent perfect at it now. The power of no wielded wisely, no is an instrument of integrity and a shield against exploitation. The power of saying no 6 ways to say no gracefully view larger image during one of our leadership development sessions, the newly appointed ceo addressed the group saying, anytime someone says that you can do anything you set your mind to, i tell them to dribble a football for me.